Kittens and Jam
by MerlinPsych
Summary: So. I was in a Doctor Seuss play, I saw the new Let's Draw Sherlock challenge, and this happened. A Green Eggs and Ham parody. Total crack, but hopefully funny. Sherlock does not like kittens and jam, John! I do not own Sherlock or Seuss.


A/N: This was done for the new Let's Draw Sherlock Project. It's Seuss' Green_ Eggs and Ham_ Sherlock style. :) John is regular text, Sherlock is italics, and commentary is bold. I hope you like it! XD This is what being in a Doctor Seuss play does to a person's brain! Haha... Tell me what you think!

* * *

I am John  
I am John  
John I am

**Sherlock: I know! I still don't want to eat! It's not necessary!**

_That John-I-am  
That John-I-am!  
I do not like  
that John-I-am!_

**John: *sigh* Could you just this once eat ****_something?! _****And I really, really want a kitten, Sherlock!**  
**Sherlock: NO!**

Do you like  
kittens and jam?

_I do not like them,  
John-I-am.  
I do not like  
kittens and jam._

Would you like them  
Here or there?  
_  
I would not like them  
here or there.  
I would not like them  
anywhere!  
I do not like  
kittens and jam.  
I do not like them,  
John-I-am_

Would you like them  
in a case?  
Would you like them  
in a chase?

_I do not like them  
in a case.  
I do not like them  
in a chase.  
I do not like them  
here or there.  
I do not like them  
anywhere.  
I do not like kittens and jam.  
I do not like them, John-I-am!_

Would you keep kittens  
in a box?  
Would you eat jam  
with the cops?

_Not in a box.  
Not with the cops.  
Not in a case.  
Not on a chase.  
I would not eat them here or there.  
I would not keep them anywhere.  
I would not like kittens and jam.  
I do not like them, John-I-am._

Would you? Could you?  
in a car?  
Eat them! Keep them!  
Here they are.

_I would not ,  
could not,  
in a car._

You may like them.  
You will see.  
You may like jam  
with some tea?

_Not with tea.  
I would not, could not with tea.  
Not in a car! You let me be._

I do not like them in a box.  
I do not like them with the cops.  
I do not like them in a case.  
I do not like them on a chase.  
I do not like them here or there.  
I do not like them anywhere.  
I do not like kittens and jam.  
I do not like them, John-I-am.

A game! A game!  
A game! A game!  
Could you, would you  
in a game?

**Sherlock: I'm going to assume you meant Moriarty style and not Cluedo?**  
**John: Never again. I'd take Moriarty over Cluedo.**

**Sherlock: Never mind that!**

_Not in a game! Not with tea!  
Not in a car! John! Let me be!  
I would not, could not, in a box.  
I could not, would not, with the cops.  
I will not keep them in a case  
I will not eat them on a chase.  
I will not eat them here or there.  
I will not keep them anywhere.  
I do not like them, John-I-am.  
_

Say!  
In an experiment?  
Here in an experiment!  
To figure out an element?

**Sherlock: YOU'D REALLY LET ME DO THAT?! *picks up kitten with a sinister smirk***

**John: … Maybe not… 0.o**  
_  
I would not, could not,  
in an experiment_. -.-

Would you, could you,  
in the rain?

**Sherlock: Haven't you deduced from Mycroft's umbrella that a Holmes does not do "rain?"**

**John: Right… Sorry.**

I would not, could not, in the rain.  
Not in an experiment, nor a game,  
Not in a car, Not with tea.  
I do not like them, John, you see.  
Not in a case. Not in a box.  
Not with a chase. Not with the cops.  
I will not eat them here or there.  
I do not like them anywhere!

You do not like  
kittens and jam?

I do not  
like them,  
John-I-am.

Could you, would you,  
with a bee?

_I would not,  
could not.  
with a bee!_

Would you, could you,  
with a skull?

_I could not, would not, with a skull.  
I will not, will not, with a bee.  
I will not eat them in the rain.  
I will not keep them in a game.  
Not in an experiment! Not with tea!  
Not in a car! You let me be!  
I do not like them in a box.  
I do not like them with the cops.  
I will not eat them in a case.  
I do not like them on a chase.  
I do not like them here or there.  
I do not like them ANYWHERE!_

I do not like  
kittens and jam!

I do not like them,  
John-I-am.

You do not like them.  
SO you say.  
Try them! Try them!  
And you may.  
Try them and you may I say.

_John!  
If you will let me be,  
I will try them.  
You will see._

**John: FINALLY!**__

Say!  
I like kittens and jam!  
I do! I like them, John-I-am!  
And I would eat them with a skull!  
And I would keep them with a bee...  
And I will eat them in the rain.  
And in experiments. And during games...  
And in a car. And with tea.  
They are so good, so cute you see!

So I will eat them in a box.  
And I will eat them with the cops.  
And I will eat them in a case.  
And I will keep them on a chase.  
And I will keep them here and there.  
Say! I will keep them ANYWHERE!

_I do so like  
kittens and jam!  
Thank you!  
Thank you,  
John-I-am_

**John: …**

**John: What have I done?!**


End file.
